If Only
by Akari Froggie
Summary: If only things didn't happen the way they did. Sequel to Doctors and Me
1. Afterlife

Afterlife

 _"If only things had been different…"_

 _"If only I didn't need those medication…"_

 _"If only I hadn't fallen in love with him…"_

 _"If you could even call it love…"_

xxx

Ema awoke to a blue sky, and nothing more. There was not a single person in sight - she was alone. Her heart felt lighter, more calm that what she had grown used to, what she had subconsciously accepted. Her mind felt clear and at ease as she reminded herself of what she did - her cheeks burning in shame at the actions and choices she made. Ema sat down on the invisible floor and hugged her knees to her chest, trying to hide her newly-formed tears.

Crying harder than she ever had, her body and mind longed for the familial warmth of a doting parent or an older brother - both of which she had never had, the latter refusing to become to one she needed. Guilt and shame flooded into her like a powerful stream, memories of her squirrel friend and how she had…rid herself of him burned in her chest, her soul crushed by her guilt. She longed for the warmth that she so desperately craved.

But she was alone now.

This was her punishment for her sins.

 **xxx**

 **So I made a sequel.**

 **There will be more chapters than this, but tell me what you think!**


	2. Apathy

Apathy

She didn't know how much time had passed since she had first arrived in her own personal isolation prison in the sky. She had guessed it had been years - considering the fact that when she observed her brothers life, they had all grown. She hated the fact that they still grieved for her on her birthday. She hated the fact that they were all still in a conflict, even with her now departed. They still looked fondly at her room as they passed by, as if she was just sleeping. How could they still like her?

She had ruined their lives.

It didn't matter now. Ema had slowly become apathetic, emotionless. She still looked over them in the sky though, a seemingly lingering sense of protectivness that refused to abandon her shell of a body. She resented herself for allowing it to remain, allowing it to hurt her as she watched them mourn over her still - even after the things she did. She watched as Wataru grew up into a fine young man, but he held a sadness that deterred any girl away from him. It was her fault he couldn't find love, but he's grow out of it...

…Right?

She watched as their brothers cried themselves to sleep every night - over her. It was pointless, Ema thought. Crying wasn't going to solve much. They needed to move on, and Ema had just thought of the perfect way to help them. Even from the sky, she could still help them, make them get over her. She'd make them forget about her - permantly. All she had to was to give them someone else to fall in love with.

A new sister.

 **xxx**

 **Just so you know, there isn't going to be any parings in this, ok?**

 **Thanks for the reviews by the way. It means A lot to me!**


	3. Faliure

Faliure

Ema paced around, her small heels clicking on the invisible floor. She bit on her thumb nail, chewing into it with a new-found frustration. It had been…a month, since she had dropped a new, perfect sister into their household and yet nothing had changed. Her "brilliant plan" had ended in failure. Still, Ema had no clue why. The girl she had placed was immaculate in every aspect. She was the perfect girlfriend.

So why hadn't they moved on to her?!

An anger swelled inside of her at each failed attempt to charm those brothers, shame creeping up slowly behind it. What was she doing? She shouldn't be toying with the lives of others like a God. She wasn't evil…was she? She erased that thought out of her head - it was just the lonliness haunting her again. She'd go back to a restless sleep and the feeling would be gone.

Ema sighed and looked down at the sister - she had named her Aka - and felt disappoint rise up within her. Her doll had failed, so she had to try and make her better and she had to create the perfect match for them. Doubt lurked in her mind, obsessing over every detail that could go wrong but she dismissed those thoughts. She was doing this to help them.

And she wouldn't fail.

 **xxx**

 **Most of these chapter will be in Ema's perspective, so you probably won't see Aka at all except if I do a chapter in one of the brother's perspective.**


	4. Static

Static

A piercing scream erupted from her vocal chords as she felt searing pain rip through her body. Whoever had sent her to the afterlife was not happy with her playing God and trying to help her brothers live normally. Aka had failed around sixty-three times now, but somewhere along the way - she had become a deformity that only hell could describe, and it was all Ema's fault. If she hadn't been striving towards perfection then it would've been fine.

Hot tears streamed down her pale cheeks as she clutched her hair tightly in her hands, the unimaginable pain causing her to almost rip her hair out. She couldn't forced her eyes closed as she stared in terror up at the sky as she tried to breathe out word of forgivness. Blood dripped out from the corners of her mouth as she felt her vocal chords shattering. Static filled her head, causing her mind to shut down completely. Memories that she wished she could forget played with a horrific twist on them. Memories that still haunted her. Memories of choices she wished she had never made.

Then it stopped. All the pain stopped as though it never happened. Aka's deformed body lay twisted and crumpled behind her. Then Ema realized why she had been punished. It wasn't because she was playing God. It was because of everything she put Aka through.

That pain she felt was her doll's. She had become subject to her creations pain.

And she hated it.


	5. Removal

Removal

 **A.N: Just to clear up any confusion, Aka didn't die but Ema had tried to make her "perfect" that she eventually became unrecognizable as a human and she resembled more of a fake, flesh…thing. So Ema pulled her out of the household. Sorry for making it too vague.**

 **xx**

Ema had tried everything, but nothing worked in her favour. In fact, her brothers seemed even more depressed. The opposite effect had happened and it was all Ema's fault. She had tried to make them happy once again but she only hurt them more, he only dragged them slowly down into hell. She detested the fact that she wasn't being forgotten, all it did was create a painful sting in her chest everytime she saw them mourning her or trying to speak to her even though she wasn't there. Her eyes watered.

All she was doing was creating more pain for them. Perhaps if she had refused to live with them in the first place then these events wouldn't have transpired. There was only one more thing she had left to help them. It was her last resort but, she had no other choice. Ema stopped for a minute, thinking over it and trying to stop herself but she couldn't think of any other way that would work.

A few months ago, she thought of that exact phrase and she thought that her first plan would be her last resort. However, now she had tried so much - she didn't want to repeat her past mistakes and she didn't want to hurt anyone else. She didn't want to hurt them any more. She wanted them to be happy again, she wanted them to be a family again, to be peaceful. Without her. She was the cause of their fighting.

She had to erase herself from them. She had to go back to the first day she met them.

She had to stop herself before she ruined them.

 **xx**

 **I'm not sure I really like this chapter but I hope you do. Thanks!**


	6. Rewind

Rewind

Ema breathed as she saw her Past Self pass by on the train. She immediately noticed Juli, and guilt once again flooded back to her. She then turned her noticed towards her past self. Envy grew as she noticed how happy she looked, how full of life her eyes look. She didn't look sickly or pale - or dead. Ema clutched the dagger underneath her cloak.

She knew full well what would happen if she went through with this plan. Ema gulped back any doubt and looked straight at herself, who was happily chatting to her friend. Never in her life she think that she'd have to resort to killing herself to stop the madness to come. The whole scenario was something out of a manga or anime. She made her way towards the station where she got off in the past.

It was around noon when she saw her past self take the first step off the train, and Ema looked at herself. Tracing her steps, she followed closely behind. Juli seemed to catch on after a while of him turning around and just catching the ends of her cloak hiding behind a strategically placed tree or wall. Ema saw her friend mutter something to her past self. Said Past Self turned around and retraced her steps, looking behind where someone could hide. She supposed she was smarter than she looked. Her Past Self was approaching the wall where she was hiding quickly. She took off her hood.

They made eye contact. Ema clutched the hidden dagger.

 **xxx**

 **This chapter is very confusing but I hope it's not too confusing that you don't understand what's going on. If you don't, I'll put a simplified version in the beginning of the next chapter if you want. Thanks.**


	7. Visions from the Future

**A.N This chapter is written in Past Ema's P.O.V**

Visions from the Future

Ema could only stare at…herself as she maintained eye contact with her doppelganger. Juli growled as she took a step back in suprised. Her mirror image took one step forward, mimicking her movements before signalling a motion to move forward. So Ema did, and she walked behind the wall - joining her mysterious double.

Now that she was presented with the opportunity to examine the double, she noticed a few things that were significantly different. Ema noticed that her double had sunken in eyes as well as cheeks, and her skin was so translucent that you were able to see the blue veins that lay underneath. She looked at her own fluffy brown hair and back to her doppelganger's greasy, sting-like hair. Ema visibly gulped.

"We shouldn't trust her Chii. Even if she does look like you."

The double laughed.

"Don't worry. You can trust me." Her voice was hoarse as if it were painful to speak.

"Why?" Ema's own voice was shaking, but clear in comparison.

"Because I am you, from the future."


	8. Memories of the Past

Memories of the Past

Ema felt sharp knives stab into her heart - a substitute for guilt it seemed. It hurt her head, it hurt everything inside of her. Ema could only stare blankly at how happy she used to be; so full of life, overflowing with hopes and dreams for the future. She missed how she used to be. How she used to actually have the remnants of living, breathing person in her eyes. A sudden thought infiltrated her mind:

Maybe it didn't have to end this way.

Too many contradictions of what she had said in the past yelled at her. Their poisonous words trying to defile the one pure thought that was just within reach, the thought that could save her and her brothers. The thought that would give her the happy family that she had been promised. Remembering that she still had the dagger, she tucked it into her back pocket.

"Listen: Before you go anywhere, get youself diagnosed for anything." Her Past Self looked confused, "I know it sounds strange but I wouldn't be here if nothing went wrong with the path you're on now."

She knew why she had turned toxic. It wasn't her fault, it wasn't her father's fault. It was her Doctor. The one who had prescribed her all of the medication the didn't work. She had turned toxic off of the side-effects listed, because of him. For the first time, she felt human again - felt real again. She wanted to save herself the pain of going through this again. She'd disappear yes, and it may create a paradox but her Past Self would be saved.

For the first time: She had opened her eyes.

 **xx**

 **This seems like a sweet note to end the sequel on. I know it's only short but I didn't want it to be more than 10 chapters to be honest. I actually kind of wrote myself into a hole when I implemented the time travel but I think it worked out in the end. This has a happy(?) ending, if you don't count the fact that the Original Ema is going to disappear forever.**

 **Anyway: Thanks for reading!**


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